Charlie Kay Chakkar Mein

Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 30th October, 2015
Time : 123 minutes
Director, Writer : Manish Shrivasta; Co-Writer : Amit Sial; Music : Manish Tipu;
Starring : Naseeruddin Shah, Disha Arora, Auroshikha Dey, Subrat Dutta, Nishant Lal, Siraj Mustafa, Anchal Nadrajog, Manasi Rachh, Amit Sial, Sanam Singh Talwar, Anand Tiwari



You know that old one, when to demonstrate something convoluted, the person, instead of holding his right ear with his right hand, twists his hand around the back of the head and holds the left ear instead ? Lets just say, to keep the analogy going, that in this one the person is upside down, in a bendy yoga pose, while underwater and being attacked by piranhas while attempting to hold the left ear with his left foot…that’s how complicated they make it…

The cops, led by Naseeruddin Shah, find a video recording, in some parking lot, where two men and two women end up shooting and killing each other. Along with this footage, they also find footage of some previous days, where those same characters were involved in a cocaine deal of some sort. And then they, the cops, spend the next 110 minutes trying to decipher what actually transpired…

The opening credits are quite sensuous – showing a woman (Elena Roxanna) in sexy black lingerie just lolling around. But then as soon as they end, we’re jerkily taken to this grimy parking lot and some blood, gore. Amit Sial, Nishant Lal, Manasi Rachh and Anchal are the four individuals there. Then we see the cops (Auroshikha is one of them aiding Naseeruddin Shah) trying to decipher the messy, jerky home made videos (all shot by Nishant). There is also a gangland killing, a don based out of Dubai (where else) and characters like Anand Tiwari, Subrat Dutta, Sanam Singh Talwar and Siraj Mustafa who play important roles of varying lengths.

The logical flaws with the plot are too many to recount. The video recordings are hard to watch after a while, as they are jarring, bumpy and, especially in one particular sequence, nausea-inducing. It’s also tough to believe that the characters would let themselves be filmed the way they did (even in intimate moments and conversations) by their tharki friend. What can be appreciated though, is that the actors turn in good performances and the film doesn’t stray from its rather complicated plot – it’s crisp from that POV, no unnecessary back stories or item songs.

There are shades of Usual Suspects in here, though this is not remotely a copy. It’s not a bad attempt but is made an even harder watch by too many hazy, drug snorting scenes. And I do wish there was a simpler storyline – you really have your head spinning (literally) when you leave the hall…

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Happy New Year

Rating : 4/10
Release Date : 24th October, 2014
Time : A mammoth 185 minutes
Director: Farah Khan; Writers: Farah Khan, Althea Kaushal; Music : Vishal-Shekhar
Starring : Shahrukh Khan, Boman Irani, Abhishek Bachchan, Sonu Sood, Deepika Padukone, Vivaan Shah, Jackie Shroff



This is a few distinct notches below Farah’s first two films, Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om. Happy New Year (HNY) has a bloated storyline, packed with unnecessary melodrama, redundant sub-plots and silly slapstick versus the zany humour that characterized her earlier two movies. I still start cackling when I remember the scene where Zayed steps into the library for the first time in Main Hoon Na. Here, you get men in tutus learning to dance. And compared to the delightful violins that play everytime Shahrukh sees a sensuous sari-clad Sushmita, here you get a little ball of fire, each time Deepika touches Shahrukh. And don’t even get me started on Abhishek’s vomit.

Shahrukh thirsts for revenge against Jackie Shroff, the man who ruined his father, both business and reputation wise. He spots the perfect opportunity when some priceless diamonds are to be stored in the vault (designed by his father), now managed by Jackie. The plan is to steal those diamonds, the only catch being that to do this involves participating in a World Dance Championship. And a team is needed that includes two of his father’s associates, Boman (a Parsi chick magnet and safecracker) and Sonu Sood (the brawny explosives expert). Also joining the team are Vivaan (a whiz-kid hacker), Abhishek (a tapori who happens to be the lookalike for Jackie Shroff’s son) and Deepika (a bar dancer, roped in to teach them how to dance – because the tutu stuff didn’t really work out).

There is a smattering of heist films here – Italian Job, Ocean's Eleven. But packed with giant sized dollops of tears, emotion and ordinary songs. And its not just that there are emotional moments – each such moment has to be accompanied by shots of everyone in the team shedding a few tears, their bloodshot eyes and group hugs. Just as a back-up, if the weeping doesn’t tug your heartstrings, they invoke the India angle in the dance championship, with loads of shots of the tricolor, national pride etc. I also feel nothing highlights bankruptcy of ideas, a desperation for cheap laughs as much as showing men in drag and here even that stone isn’t left unturned.

There was an interesting film hidden somewhere here – with a little bit more work, some funnier moments and massive pruning from its inflated 185 minutes run time – this could’ve actually been a really good film. Instead of choosing between a comedy, musical, heist or revenge drama, Farah chose to combine the four in an inelegant potpourri, giving us a product placement riddled mish-mash. Deepika has little to do other than feature in a couple of songs, display her dimples and washboard abs. Abhishek demonstrates that he is now officially scraping the bottom of the barrel with his brand of slapstick and vomit. Boman, Sonu and Vivaan come out relatively unscathed. Instead this one will hinge on how you react to its main lead.

If You Love Shahrukh (most women)

You will love watching his near patented gestures including standing with his arms outstretched, the wipe across the face
You will love his exaggerated, over the top acting
You will love his muscular abs, rippled body
When he sheds a tear or two, you will feel like reaching out, ruffling his Navratan tel soaked, thanda thanda – cool cool hair and telling him things will be alright

If You Dislike Shahrukh (most men)

You will cringe, wonder how someone can make a living as an actor in todays day and age by doing the same thing for the nth time
You will beg for mercy killing when he does his hammy, excessive moves
You will find his muscles look odd on his wiry frame and increasingly gaunt looking face
When he does his cheesy emoting, you will feel like giving him a tight one across his Emami Fair and Handsome enlightened face.

The choice, as always, is yours

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Bewakoofiyaan

Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 14th March, 2014
Time : 119 minutes
Director : Nupur Asthana; Writer : Habib Faisal; Music : Raghu Dixit
Starring : Ayushman Khurrana, Sonam Kapoor, Rishi Kapoor




A quite harmless film with no layers, depth or subtler shades to the characters, its predictable, and apart from Sonam’s horror show (she gets her expressions wrong half the time) is a decent film, good, clean, has some fun moments but is just too stretched time wise.

Ayushman loves Sonam, who has a terror, Rishi Kapoor, for a father. Retired from govt service, connected to the Home Secretary, an old-school bureaucrat, wears safari suits on formal occasions etc. And he is determined to thoroughly vet Ayushman before giving him permission to marry his precious daughter, who is doing well career wise (earning more than her boyfriend). When, a little later, Ayushman loses his job, things begin to get a little awkward.

The best moments of the film are those not involving Sonam ie between Ayushman and Rishi – especially in the second half as the relationship between them reaches a different footing. Both do justice to their roles. Sonam tries to garner attention by wearing a bikini but even that doesn’t work. The songs aren’t bad. Also, there is no vulgarity, crassness - its all innocuous, inoffensive, nothing to stay with you later, a few smiles here and there...nothing more, nothing less

There are often films which have nothing new to offer in their entire length versus what is shown in the trailer…this almost falls in that category.

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