Recent Movies

Game OverThinker: "DUMBER ALIVE"

Tamasha



Rating : 6/10
Release Date : 27th November, 2015
Time : 151 minutes
Director & Writer: Imtiaz Ali; Music : A R Rahman;
Starring : Ranbir Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, Piyush Mishra, Yash Sehgal, Piyush Mishra, Javed Sheikh




I got the central message but not the way the delivery has been,
I loved, in minutes, the first ten and five, and the last fifteen
But sadly very little of what’s in between…



After a slightly surreal opening sequence about a young boy (Yash Sehgal playing a young Ranbir) and a storyteller (Piyush Mishra), which kind of sets the mood for what lies ahead, btw, we arrive in Corsica. Beautiful, sun-drenched, summery, full of old world charm, cobbled streets, pristine waterfalls, a very leggy, vivacious Deepika Padukone, a charming Ranbir Kapoor, emerald green seas, gorgeous vistas…and did I mention Deepika’s legs, that go on for miles ?


Anyways, they meet, have fun, set boundaries, break them, romance, mention Asterix in Corsica and all the while don’t tell each other who they are. Then they leave and we are treated to a fabulous, mad-cap song, Heer To Badi Sad Hai



…And then they meet again…and it gets quite boring, very normal (despite all the stuff about it not being the same old story). Things perking up again only just before the end…


It’s kind of a gender - reverse complicated version of Jab We Met (kind of). It’s about doing what makes you happy, finding your mojo, recognizing your own special story, chasing your own dreams, writing your own story, shunning mediocrity, pursuing excellence.



But as someone who’s chosen paths of the beaten track, I found issue even with the way that is depicted (rant coming up, you’ve been warned). It’s not a binary equation, is it ? There is a way to find happiness / pursue your passion outside the confines of the workplace (which circumstances may have forced on you). So the solution offered – the break free – may not necessarily be the only option, nay, can probably be a very dangerous course to recommend. And what is this fixation about being the best ? Do whatever you’ve chosen to do well, have fun doing it – if you’ve chosen a line because you want to enjoy life then why put this additional pressure of trying to be the best – just be the best you can be, no ? Revel in the fact that you’ve chosen a different option and find happiness in your own unique way (apologies to Mr Tolstoy).



And that brings us to what for me is the fatal flaw in the movie - the character played by Ranbir doesnt really ring true...the one we saw in Corsica and the one we see in Delhi can simply not be the same person ! Dont want to give anything away, so please message / comment here if you'd like more discussion on why I think so...



All in all, Imtiaz Ali here chooses a rather convoluted way to tell us a story – normally he’s quite direct, well thought out and it seems to come from the heart – this one falls somewhere in between. Thank God, as a saving grace, for AR Rahman’s kickass soundtrack, the impish charm of Ranbir and the sizzling, perky Deepika (you were waiting for me to mention the legs again, weren’t you ?

The Hunger Games : Mockingjay Part 2



Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 27th November, 2015
Time : 137 minutes
Director : Francis Lawrence; Writers : Peter Craig, Danny Strong and Suzanne Collins (based on the book series by Suzanne Collins); Music : James Newton Howard;
Starring : Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Donald Sutherland, Julianne Moore, Liam Hemsworth, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Sam Claflin, Elizabeth Banks, Mahershala Ali, Jena Malone, Jeffrey Wright, Woody Harrelson




It’s Jennifer Lawrence vs Donald Sutherland. The darling of the masses, the fighter, twice victor of the Hunger Games, the ordinary girl from District 12 versus the smooth-talking tyrant, the man who shows no compunction, gives no quarter and is the President of all districts. Or is it ? Who is really on her side and who is just using her ? Who can she really trust ? And is he even the real enemy ?



With Josh, rescued but brain-washed, out for her blood. Julianne Moore, the leader of the rebels, determined to have her own way. Philip Hoffman, reduced to watching from the sidelines. Is Liam, her childhood sweetheart, going to be by her side ? Or is it going to be either of Jeffrey or Sam or Jena (from the second Hunger Games) or even Mahershala (the man exuded calm in House of Cards and does so here too). In any case, the battle lines are clearly drawn and with Donald Sutherland determined to make the last stand a deadly game of cat and mouse, it makes for grim but gripping viewing…



It has more than a touch of the indestructible hero complex – there are situations where logic takes a far-removed backseat and Jennifer, against all odds, despite all the bullets and bombs (and zombies) against her, simply soldiers on. It’s all very dark, very tortured – the movie is quite dialogue intensive at moments when you wish there was just some straight-forward action. You really do wonder why it was made in 3D – there are no moments at all which make use of that technology.


In the end, though, the message is loud and clear. Retribution isn’t the best way to make a fresh start but seems to be an unquenchable human need. And beware of who replaces the tyrant…some habits can rub off from your predecessor, knowingly or not !

Whose Side Are You On?

And here we go...



What's impressive to me immediately is how much the in-trailer narrative here feels designed to alleviate concerns that this is more AVENGERS 2.5 than CAPTAIN AMERICA 3. Obviously, the ancillary marketing and pop-cultural "presence" will be leaning harder into "Hey guys! Here's The Avengers again - many with slightly-redesigned outfits so you have to re-buy some figures!," but as an introduction-trailer this drives home the idea that this is a natural continuation of the Steve/Bucky storyline with everyone else onhand because, hey, this is their social-circle.

The B0y

An intimate portrait of a 9-year-old sociopath's growing fascination with death. The Boy (2015) on IMDb

In Bob We Trust: WHO'S THE BEST MARVEL VILLAIN?

Spectre



Rating : 4/10
Release Date : 20th November, 2015
Time : 146 minutes
Director : Sam Mendes; Writers : Josh Logan, Neal Purvis, Jez Butterworth (based on the character created by Ian Fleming); Music : Thomas Newman;
Starring : Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Lea Seydoux, Dave Bautista, Rory Kinnear, Jesper Christensen




When you light a firecracker named Bond, you don’t quite expect it to fizzle out as badly as this one did. Rarely has the end been as much of a damp squib, where you wonder what it was all about or why Bond villains repeating the mistakes their predecessors of twenty years ago.




Daniel Craig, while on the heels of a villain in Mexico, causes unauthorized carnage. His boss, Ralph Fiennes (M), isn’t too happy, especially as there is a major restructuring of intelligence services underway and his new boss, the young, cocky Andrew Scott (C) is looking for excuses to shut down the Double O programme. However, Mr Craig has his own agenda – and with the sometimes unwilling assistance of Ben Whishaw (Q) and Naomie Harris (Moneypenny) – he’s hot on the heels of Christoph Waltz and his shadowy organization, Spectre. Encountering, along the way, a couple of damsels in distress – Monica Bellucci and Lea Seydoux.




There is a sense of foreboding through the film, particularly in the first half. A kind of tingling anticipation of great things to come, evil villainy, grand masterplans of world or interstellar domination, sizzling secrets and adventurous action. Which is why, given an actor like Waltz (wasn’t he just delicious in Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained?), the second half is doubly disappointing. Action wise, there was nothing new either – no sequence which stands out in memory (the opening with the helicopter was quite tame compared to say, Goldeneye) and the opening credits were weak with the song positively mournful. And thanks to our censors, in particular the idiotic brown-nosing buffoon, Pahlaj Nihalani, we dont really get to see either Lea or Monica (who has a blink and you miss role) do their stuff.




I like Daniel Craig. I simply adore Christoph Waltz. And have had a crush on Monica Bellucci, like forever. But unfortunately, Sam Mendes and his band of writers are not able to do to Bond what Christopher Nolan managed to do to Batman – take it up a couple of notches and then keep going higher, into the stratosphere. Perhaps naming the previous one Skyfall turned out to be prophetic ?

Really That Good: SPIDER-MAN 1 & 2

Well. This took forever (over an hour long this time - wow!) and Sony immediately issued a YouTube copyright claim on it. Said claim is now in dispute, so watch this while you can! :)

TV RECAP: Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Season 3 - Episode 8: "Many Heads, One Tale"

Well... that was pretty unexpected.

A weird thing about how AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D has evolved as a series is that the more both the series and the audience seem to have accepted its position as the redheaded stepchild of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the more cavalier it's gotten in playing around with the worldbuilding. Throughout most of Season 1, when the audience was still assuming/hoping that the series was going to be a mythology-packed weekly geek-out setting up dominoes for the movies to knock down, it operated strictly on the fringes of its own universe until it was more-or-less forced to use the good silverware because CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER's storyline made it unavoidable.

But now, with the audience effectively resigned to the idea that AGENTS is mostly going to do it's own thing as "NCIS: MARVEL UNIVERSE" and not have any real noteworthy impact on the movies (example: Multiple friends/colleagues of The Avengers know Coulson is alive now, but not The Avengers themselves for absolutely no good reason) ...the show is somehow now more emboldened about play with what feel like big, essential moving-parts of the Universe that you'd think the movies would get first-dibs on messing with: Last season got to introduce The Inhumans (whose movie doesn't come out until 2019) and start early on Marvel's long-term goal of turning them into Mutant/X-Men replacements; and now along with continuing that work Season 3 now gets to re-write a huge part of the MCU's history (on Earth, anyway) with a single conversation.

Specifically: HYDRA, the villainous group whose shenanigans have driven the plots of (so far) four movies and lurk (retroactively) in the background/mythos of all the rest, now has a brand-new, way way out there origin-story - which could be a signal that the movies are done using them or that the movie and TV sides of the MCU are about to start playing nice(er) with eachother.

SPOILERS FOLLOW:


"Many Heads, One Tale" is, like last week's "Chaos Theory," for the most part a plot-plot-plot affair (we are now racing toward the mid-season finale) with some long-awaited character moments dropped in for seasoning: Fitz/Simmons finally cry it out and kiss, Coulson and Price both show all their cards, we get official confirmation that Gideon Malick is the Security Council member Powers Boothe played in AVENGERS and a HYDRA bigwig to boot, we (apparently) learn what the ATCU is (and isn't) actually up to and May and Lincoln bury the hatchet...

...oh, and it turns out everything we thought we knew about HYDRA, one of the essential building-blocks of Marvel's continuity-experiment, is not only wrong - they're actually up to something that sounds (conceptually) like the biggest-scale villain plan any MCU villain has had outside of whatever Thanos is up to.

So let's get that out of the way first: As revealed to Ward by Malick, HYDRA is actually over a thousand years old, with The Red Skull's "Nazi Deep-Science Division" incarnation being merely HYDRA's "thing to do" in the 1940s. As it turns out, HYDRA's actual origin is a cult that worships an unnamed all-powerful Inhuman from ancient times who was exiled from Earth using The Monolith - their entire purpose, encompassing everything the organization has ever done, is to find a way to bring this Inhuman "god" back to Earth so he (she? it?) can conquer it.

...alright, then.

In light of that, the major revelations otherwise almost seem kind of perfunctory - even though they're directly tied-in: The ATCU has been run by HYDRA via Malick the whole time, but (apparently) without Rosalind Price's knowledge - oh, and they aren't "curing" Inhumans, they're working to make and conscript as many of them as they can. Astronaut Will's portal-crossing mission? HYDRA as well, with heavy implication that the shape-shifting, mind-controlling entity that bedeviled Will and Simmons on the alien planet is the unnamed Inhuman "god." Lash? Now in Malick/Ward/HYDRA's hands, seemingly on-track to be re-weaponized. So... a lot going on to deal with.

On the non-plot side, the reveal that Price has been played by the outfit she was supposedly running felt so weirdly clunky that I almost want it to be a double fake-out. I mean, seriously? All this time she's been confidently/assertively running an operation whose supposed sole reason to exist (warehousing and attempting to cure Inhumans) she was just "taking on faith" as existing because the work was being done in a room she wasn't supposed to go into? That's dumb.

I get the purpose of the fake-out: Get the audience all riled up to see Coulson pull a stone cold "Gotcha! I played you before you could play me!" move, then yank it away by contriving a scenario where Price was actually duped and acting in good faith - making Coulson (kind of) the asshole this time... but there had to be a better way. On the other hand, the actual reveal of this was a fine acting turn for both of them. It's always uncomfortable, in a modern context, to see a "good guy" doing the 60s James Bond seduce-to-manipulate thing; and it's especially strange when the perpetrator is a character like Coulson who's typically played as a boyish do-gooder. Credit that they pulled off what's a pretty dark turn (Coulson basically used and manipulated Price in an overall pretty cruel way in order to get at intel she wasn't hiding and didn't know herself) in a way that leaves new places for characters to go rather than just ruining the character (Coulson) forever.

Elsewhere, the "let's go undercover" infiltration scene with Hunter and Bobbi was fun, but it's also the kind of well the show has gone to too many times when it needs a "fun" was to dump a bunch of exposition and place-setting. Apart from the "Oh, it's HYDRA again and they're making their own Inhuman army" discovery, we get the debut of a new recurring Inhuman villain in Mark Dacascos "Giyera;" and while Dacascos is one of those hardworking B-movie martial-arts pros action fans are always glad to see (depending on your age/region he's immediately recognizable as either Wo Fat from the newer HAWAII FIVE-0, The Chairman from IRON CHEF AMERICA, Mani from BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF or Billy Lee from DOUBLE DRAGON) it's a little dissapointing that his Inhuman power turns out to be "Magneto, just without the name and outfit."


BULLET POINTS:

  • Who/what is the ancient Inhuman that HYDRA has apparently been trying to bring to Earth this whole time? I don't know. I still have trouble believing that it's going to be one of the marquee Inhumans at this juncture, and it really could be any Cosmic Marvel fixture not yet claimed by the movies re-worked as "actually an Inhuman." So for now I guess everyone from Immortus to Death is on the table ("Ma'Veth," Hebrew for "Death," is the title of the mid-season finale.)
  • That having been said, it could more narrowly be The Unspoken, who was the Inhumans' king before Black Bolt. OR, if we're supposed to glean anything from HYDRA's logo apparently having evolved from a ram skull, Pazuzu technically exists in Marvel as well.
  • THAT having been said, some of the dialogue from Fitz/Simmons laying this all out mentioned "inspiring legends of devils." I wonder... could this be where/how we get an MCU version of Mephisto (who is not technically *the* devil, in the comics)?
  • Over in Entertainment Weekly, Clark Gregg (Coulson) coyly refers to talk of the (now pretty obvious) emerging storyline of S.H.I.E.L.D and HYDRA both having Inhuman armies as "a war of some kind that will not be civil in nature, while at the same time being very civil in nature." Heh.
  • But wait - it won't exactly be a surprise if AGENTS has to mention/incorporate the events of CIVIL WAR similarly to the way WINTER SOLDIER and AGE OF ULTRON worked, but does this mean S.H.I.E.L.D and HYDRA are taking "sides" in it? Hm. In the comics, "Civil War" was an organic ideological schism, but I can see the movies going with "HYDRA did stuff to trigger/escalate this fight."
  • See also: Bret Dalton (Ward) has been teasing a "WINTER SOLDIER-level" twist for the mid-season. But short of "Coulson has been evil this whole time, somehow" I'm not sure what's left to do that could meet that challenge (and that would be stupid.)


NEXT WEEK: Nothing, because Thanksgiving. But the week after next brings "CLOSURE," the penultimate episode before the series breaks for Winter (and Season 2 of AGENT CARTER.)

TV RECAP: Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Season 3 - Episode 7: "Chaos Theory"

Apologies, once again, for the delay. It won't repeat for tomorrow's show.

So! Once again, AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D puts a big chunk of it's internal mysteries on the table and drops in a bunch of new ones. Clever storytelling? Side-effect of only having a general sense of where your story is "allowed" to go week to week? Who can tell, at this point...

SPOILERS FOLLOW!

We knew Andrew Gardner was Lash as of last episode, and now as of this one we know how he got that way (Jaiying rigged some of her personal-effects with Terrigen booby-traps, leading Andrew to be exposed and discover that he has been an Inhuman this whole time) and everyone is on the same page about it; with Lash himself now filed-away in the ATCU's holding-facility - which, under the circumstances, Daisy is now feeling less self-righteous about unilaterally opposing. Well, isn't that convenient.

A strong episode overall, though (apart from the aforementioned May/Andrew business) a little light on the character work in favor of the plot. It's nice to see the pieces continuing to move so quickly, since at this rate it feels like the current scenario(s) could well be totally upended by the time the AGENT CARTER break arrives; potentially giving us yet another new status-quo to look forward to in the second half. It would be in keeping with the speed at which things have moved this season, and I'm starting to wonder if we can actually hope for a significant CIVIL WAR lead-in.

...or not. In any case:

New mystery #1: What, exactly, was Lash trying to accomplish? Before he went down at May's hands (great performances from Blair Underwood and Ming-Na Wen, once again) his dialogue seemed to imply that he was going after Inhumans who'd done something "wrong." In the comics, Lash's deal is that he kills those who've turned without "earning" it whom he deems unworthy after the fact, but this doesn't appear to be that - particularly since he claimed to be using Jaiying's genealogy-charts as a hit-list. At this point, it would be a very "signature" AGENTS' moment for Lash to turn out to have been wrongly-fighting a yet-unknown threat, so...

New mystery #2: Who is Gideon Malick and what does he have to do with the ATCU? Last time, we learned that the (apparent) head of the S.H.I.E.L.D-overseeing Security Council played by Powers Boothe has a name and is apparently a bad guy (he's reached out to Ward and Nu-HYDRA.) Now, just as Coulson (and maybe the audience?) was getting ready to trust Rosalind Price - Daisy saving her life during a fight with Lash and all that - we (but not Coulson) learn that Malick has been in contact with her the whole time. Is he calling ATCU's shots?

New mystery #3: Who were the Monolith's pre-S.H.I.E.L.D owners? Should've seen this angle coming, but did not. So, good on you, writers. While continuing to look for ways to bring Simmons' astronaut boyfriend Will back to Earth with the Monolith/portal destroyed, Fitz lands on a big clue: A near-match to the insignia from the old castle where the device was hidden at some point before S.H.I.E.L.D had it appears to have been hidden in the design of Will's mission-patch, suggesting that it wasn't (only?) NASA backing his mission but some remnant of the occult-esque secret society that was using the Monolith for unknown purposes back in the day. Okay, so maybe there are more people out there who know about the portals and how to use them... but who are they?

No need for bullet-points theorizing this time, since it feels to me like they're heading for all of these stories to converge this time around. Here's the thing: We know that whoever the Monolith-cultists were, they were men of means and position. We know that S.H.I.E.L.D had the Monolith after them, but apparently no one we've yet met was high-grade enough to know when they got it or how. Now, we know that at some point at least 15 years ago, it was used in conjunction with a NASA mission likely at the behest of those same cultists. So it feels like a pretty easy guess that said cultists are connected-to S.H.I.E.L.D in such a way that they could use The Agency's "keep an eye on alien stuff" directives to hide the thing. Seems like something Malick would be involved with, if not in charge of, yes?

So who are they (the "cultists," that is)? Well, another tangent HYDRA seems like the obvious call, but maybe too obvious at this point. AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D could use a fresh(er) regular antagonist, so even if they are HYDRA I'd imagine they'll be a "related" branch that goes by a different name. My guess? The Serpent Society. Either way, I maintain my earlier guess about Malick being a "re-imagined" version of Albert Malik, aka the second Red Skull.

Extrapolating further: A big part of the post-CIVIL WAR Captain America comics involved the real Red Skull "possessing" a high-placed military/industrial figure, so it already wouldn't surprise me to see that plotline come up somewhere in the MCU in the near future. If so, I'd bet Malick isn't so much "Red Skull II" as the O.G. Skull, Johann Schmidt, wearing a new face. Keep in mind: The one thing we know about these people is that they owned and figured out how to control a space/time portal - wouldn't it be something if Schmidt (who was zapped off to who-knows-where by the similarly portal-centric Tessaract in FIRST AVENGER) found his way back that way and has been hiding out ever since? 

The cast and writers have been teasing a "WINTER SOLDIER-level" twist for the Winter Break, after all, and Powers Boothe pulling off his face the reveal that The Red Skull has been secretly hanging out this entire time would certainly qualify. Plus, if it means the Skull might concievably become available for the movies again (maybe as a secret CIVIL WAR heavy, dare I hope??) I'd be all for that. In the comics, Red Skull serves the vital purpose of providing a "baseline" of evil to give every other villain a degree of relative nuance (i.e. "Sure, I'm a pretty bad person - but that dude is, literally, a NAZI!") and it'd be fun to have an agitator onhand who's just bad for bad's sake if you need to get a plot going economically: "Why are they trying to blow up The Rainforest, exactly?" "Nazi With a Skeleton-Head!"


NEXT WEEK:
Coulson and S.H.I.E.L.D are apparently double-dealing against ATCU even still in "Many Heads, One Tale." (okay, that title makes me feel even more secure in predicting The Serpent Society.)

UPDATES 11/16/15

Just a quick update: This last week (and counting) has been murder on my schedule, which is why a recap for S.H.I.E.L.D from the previous week didn't end up running. It will run sometime later this evening, and the regularly-scheduled one for tomorrow should run on time. Apologies for the delay.

Harts War

A law student becomes a lieutenant during World War II, is captured and asked to defend a black prisoner of war falsely accused of murder. Hart's War (2002) on IMDb

Prem Ratan Dhan Payo



Rating : 2/10
Release Date : 12th November, 2015
Time : 174 minutes
Director, Writer : Sooraj Barjatya; Music : Himesh Reshammiya;
Starring : Salman Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Anupam Kher, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Swara Bhaskar, Deepak Dobriyal, Armaan Kohli, Aashika Bhatia




This is not just a silly story, it’s a flawed, silly story dipped in gulab jamun ki chasni. It’s death with a thousand, slow, torturous cuts, and each cut is coated with sugar. It’s the same old, packaged as the same old – no attempts to give the story a modern twist – the heroine still simpers and makes semi-orgasmic expressions when the hero touches her and the hero still speaks as if he’s stuck in the black and white era. Nothing bad happens in the film but everything occurs in agonizing slow-motion, with camera shots from three different angles, music at every turn and characters looking like they are all in a Maanyavar ad.


Salman Khan has two roles. For his first one, he doesn’t have to stray too far from his previous film (Bajrangi Bhaijaan) and is a Ram-bhakt, expert participant of his local village Ram-Leela. Who fell in love with a princess, Sonam, as she descended from the steps of a helicopter (impeccably dressed) while conducting flood relief operations for her charity. He decides he’s going to meet her (with his side-kick Deepak Dobriyal), as she’s going to attend her fiancée, a big-shot prince’s (the other Salman) crowning ceremony. However, evil forces are trying to take the life of this prince – there is a dastardly attack – and Ram-Leela Avatar is forced to step into the shoes of the Prince by the kingdom’s loyal advisor, Anupam Kher.


The Ram Bhakt soon realizes the Prince’s forte wasn’t human relationships - he has to mend quite a few fences – first with the Princess, Sonam, who’s mad at him for some past errors. Then with his step-sisters (Swara and Aashika) and then also with his step-brother (Neil). He proceeds to do this in full nautanki style, behaving illogically, inappropriately at every occasion. Like converting a formal function into a football match between men and women. Doing everything the Prince didn’t do – eat spicy food, cook, roam around with his fiancée etc etc. We then have a couple of very predictable twists, dealt with in an equally predictable manner – some tears, some muscles, some melodrama – followed by an even more predictable ending.



Sonam continues to irritate. And display her lack of acting prowess. The fact that she also looks less than half her hero’s age doesn’t help the film. Salman has either of two expressions in the film – one is his beatific one, with folded hands, asking for forgiveness / love / help etc (in the villager role). The other is angry (in the Prince role). Anupam Kher takes over the Alok Nath sanskaari role, while Neil Nitin tries unsuccessfully to look angry while leading the spoilt, rich lifestyle.



Nothing, of course, makes any sense. You can begin with the logical questions (what was the villain’s grand plan at the end?). And then ask a few existential ones (why does Sonam get so many roles despite her impressive failure rate and equally impressive lack of acting skills ? Or even, Why do films like this get made at all ?)



There are a few moments of mirth but they are too far and few and are sandwiched between many minutes of agony. Every scene is stretched, really ridiculous songs are inserted at every possible opportunity (there is one song – I’ve named it the chaatwala song – where basically Deepak Dobriyal and Salman recount all the different kinds of savouries you get in India), tears milked whenever the chance presents itself – and it’s really a gooey, syrupy painful film where the hero can do and experience nothing bad. Apart from his heroine.

My review of the film in one sentence is presented in this audio file : Click Here

@g3nt 47

Genetically engineered from conception to be the perfect killing machine, he's the culmination of decades of research, endowed with unprecedented strength, speed, stamina and intelligence. Known only as Agent 47 (Rupert Friend), his latest target is a corporation that plans to unlock the secret of his past to create an army of killers even more powerful than him. With help from a young woman, the elite assassin confronts revelations about his own origins in an epic battle with his deadliest foe. Hitman: Agent 47 (2015) on IMDb

In Bob We Trust: "WILL WARCRAFT BE ANY GOOD?"

WARCRAFT Trailer Finally Drops

This looks suuuuuuper goofy. So I'm totally onboard.



I really only have a passing familiarity with the "lore" of WARCRAFT (Paula Patton is a human/orc hybrid, I take it?) so my interest in this has been less about what it get's "right" than about what it does to justify its own existence in a tonal/aesthetic sense. For me, the main thing that's been kneecapping video-game movie thus far is that even densely-plotted stuff like WARCRAFT tends to be a melange of genre tropes where the originality comes either from unique design/character work or from the built-in strangeness that comes from interactive storytelling; but film adaptations have thus far tended to downplay much of the "video-gamey" weirdness - resulting in films that don't seem to have much reason to exist.

If nothing else, WARCRAFT seems to have those priorities straight. This first trailer feels cut/scored to feel as akin (plotwise) to yet another LOTR also-ran, dialing back the plot/character/mythos details to focus on getting a mass-audience onboard, so the more interesting storyline we've been assured is in there is taking a back seat to the look of the thing - but man, it's a hell of a look.

I'm especially liking that the design is very clearly erring on the side of new/different/interesting over "realistic." Much as I've enjoyed seeing most of the genre from LOTR to GAME OF THRONES find a working balance between classical high-fantasy art and practical reality, WARCRAFT's world is on a whole other bonkers level in terms of bizarre creatures and locations - half-measures in that direction were never going to cut it. I'd rather the Orcs be detailed and ridiculous-looking than photorealistic (the CGI is great, but we're in Hulk-territory here where nothing is going to fool you into thinking this being can physically exist), or the humans' armor/weapons to look like super-expensive cosplay, or the locations look absurdly over-designed than try to water down everything that makes this world worth inhabiting - I mean, I'm pretty sure that one gut at 1:07 has some kind of flint-activated shotgun in a medieval-fantasy setting. That's wacky.

I imagine the question will be how Universal/Legendary think they're going to sell a mainstream audience on this stuff. HARRY POTTER was the movie-arm of a once in a generation pop-literature phenomenon hitting at the zenith of its popularity. LOTR was already widely known and had the selling point of "You've never seen live-action fantasy look this huge before." By contrast, the WARCRAFT franchise's "moment" in terms of mainstream-ubiquity (i.e. WOW) feels like it came and went awhile ago, and "LOTR but twice as melodramatic and a thousand times more cartoonishly odd" doesn't sound like a sure thing.

I doubt the studio is too worried - Universal is sitting on a ridiculous mountain of cash after a year of absolutely massive smash-hits (they literally went from a struggling industry has-been to having JURASSIC WORLD, MINIONS, FURIOUS 7, PITCH PERFECT 2, 50 SHADES OF GREY and STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON all hit in the same year) and we're still in a gold-rush period where content-starved Russian and Chinese audiences are going to turn damn near any remotely-serviceable 3D-ready actioner into a moneymaker. But they're looking for this to be a long-term multimedia tentpole, and other studios with game-adaptations in the waiting are hoping that either this or ASSASSIN'S CREED do the deed of finally breaking the genre for Joe Popcorn. That sounds like an uphill climb (and one they should've been advertising for much earlier than this) but I'm rooting for it.

Charlie Kay Chakkar Mein



Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 30th October, 2015
Time : 123 minutes
Director, Writer : Manish Shrivasta; Co-Writer : Amit Sial; Music : Manish Tipu;
Starring : Naseeruddin Shah, Disha Arora, Auroshikha Dey, Subrat Dutta, Nishant Lal, Siraj Mustafa, Anchal Nadrajog, Manasi Rachh, Amit Sial, Sanam Singh Talwar, Anand Tiwari




You know that old one, when to demonstrate something convoluted, the person, instead of holding his right ear with his right hand, twists his hand around the back of the head and holds the left ear instead ? Lets just say, to keep the analogy going, that in this one the person is upside down, in a bendy yoga pose, while underwater and being attacked by piranhas while attempting to hold the left ear with his left foot…that’s how complicated they make it…


The cops, led by Naseeruddin Shah, find a video recording, in some parking lot, where two men and two women end up shooting and killing each other. Along with this footage, they also find footage of some previous days, where those same characters were involved in a cocaine deal of some sort. And then they, the cops, spend the next 110 minutes trying to decipher what actually transpired…



The opening credits are quite sensuous – showing a woman (Elena Roxanna) in sexy black lingerie just lolling around. But then as soon as they end, we’re jerkily taken to this grimy parking lot and some blood, gore. Amit Sial, Nishant Lal, Manasi Rachh and Anchal are the four individuals there. Then we see the cops (Auroshikha is one of them aiding Naseeruddin Shah) trying to decipher the messy, jerky home made videos (all shot by Nishant). There is also a gangland killing, a don based out of Dubai (where else) and characters like Anand Tiwari, Subrat Dutta, Sanam Singh Talwar and Siraj Mustafa who play important roles of varying lengths.


The logical flaws with the plot are too many to recount. The video recordings are hard to watch after a while, as they are jarring, bumpy and, especially in one particular sequence, nausea-inducing. It’s also tough to believe that the characters would let themselves be filmed the way they did (even in intimate moments and conversations) by their tharki friend. What can be appreciated though, is that the actors turn in good performances and the film doesn’t stray from its rather complicated plot – it’s crisp from that POV, no unnecessary back stories or item songs.


There are shades of Usual Suspects in here, though this is not remotely a copy. It’s not a bad attempt but is made an even harder watch by too many hazy, drug snorting scenes. And I do wish there was a simpler storyline – you really have your head spinning (literally) when you leave the hall…

Hotel Transylvania 2



Rating : 3/10
Release Date : 6th November, 2015
Time : 89 minutes
Director : Genndy Tartakovsky; Writers : Robert Smigel, Adam Sandler; Music : Mark Mothersbaugh;
Starring : Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, David Spade, Asher Blinkoff, Dana Carvey, Fran Drescher, Molly Shannon, Mel Brooks




One of the worst things that can happen to you, as a movie-goer, is the realization that the trailer was the best part. A ghoulishly unimaginative script, scarily stale jokes and monstrously mournful music ensure that the laugh quotient versus the first one is guillotined into less than half.



The Count marries off his daughter, Mavis, to the human, Johnny, and is delighted when she bears a son, Dennis, thrilled that the Dracula bloodline will continue. However, Mavis, a classic over-protective mom, gently points out that there is a high probability that the baby could be human too. And when a couple of years pass by, without any of the vampire signs (fangs, for instance), Dracula decides to take Dennis to his old haunts, after sending the parents away, in the hope that it will tilt him to the other side…



One of the jokes involves Dracula’s inability to do anything with his new smartphone, thanks to his long nails. The first time you chuckle but by the time the same joke is repeated a third time, you’re ready to set the phone ablaze. It’s mildly amusing, and you share Dracula’s angst, as he observes how all his old haunts (like a campsite) have become tamer, more human (cost of insurance, as the gay campsite manager informs him) but there is nothing which actually makes you laugh out loud.


This may work for kids but unlikely to for any adults. A trailer is supposed to be representative of what lies in the film, so when you find it actually contained the best bits, you almost feel cheated, lied to. It’s tantamount to fraud, isn’t it, and you want your money back…
 
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